Daily Insanity April 20, 2022

Go with what you know and I know insane … Ha!

 

I’m going to face the issue of mental illness in our family head-on …

 

I’ve just been dealing with it “on the side” … looking at it like a part-time job… When it is the biggest fucking elephant you’d ever see, not only in the room, because you can’t just fit it in the room, but it is squishing out of every fucking door, window and crevice possible … it can no longer be ignored as an inconvenience … it is front and center and demanding attention and you, Mental Illness, finally got my full, fucking attention… Lord help you … I am my mother’s daughter and when you have my attention and I am pissed … Good Luck! Cos you’re gonna need it …

 

The Mama bear is officially woken up … she is woke …

 

I thought it was a part-time gig… Come to find out it’s a full-time problem… So best look at it square in the eye and hit it straight on … approach it from that direction …

 

I have been so overwhelmed by this that my energy has been limited to just trying to wake up, get ready and get done what the day brings …

 

I looked up support groups on NAMI (National Alliance of the Mentally Ill) … I had done that before but during Covid they had stopped … there happens to be dual meetings tonight… One for my brother (and his peers)… And one for me (Family members of the mentally ill)

 

I called to ask him to go tonight… He said he was going to take the day “off” … he doesn’t even work … he sits on the couch and watches TV all day … but he was going to take the day “off” … he means he wasn’t going to go anywhere …

 

He did agreed to go … there is hope … there is always hope but sometimes it just doesn’t feel like it … I have been feeling hopeless like this is never going to end … that will give anybody a lack of energy and Will to want to go on … not that I was going to take myself out, not in the sense of offing myself… But in the sense of getting the fuck out of town… Literally … today it feels like there’s a glimmer of hope … so I will continue …

 

Nevertheless, she persisted